The Wrong Phone Number of Doom
by sxc pancake power
Summary: Yu-gi-oh/Card Captor Sakura. Bakura dials a wrong phone number by accident and ends up ringing Tomoyo. Tomoyo thinks it's a very elaborate plan and goes physcho. Rated T for Tomoyos' excessive swearing. OOC.
1. The Beginning

Tomoyo (I think that's her name; I haven't seen the show in ages...) and Sakura had made themselves comfortable on Tomoyos' living room couch. That night was peaceful and they were having a sleepover to celebrate Sakura becoming the 'Master of the Clow' or whatever she was. Wait, did I say it was peaceful? Well, it was, until they had gotten a phone call.  
The phone rang.

"You better get that." Said Sakura. Tomoya smiled, nodded cheerfully and waddled over to the phone in her cutsey way.  
"Hello?" She said politely.

On the other end of the phone, Bakura gasped as he had just realized he dialled the wrong phone number. Without saying anything, he hung up.  
Tomoyo slammed the phone down.  
"OH, FUCK NO!"  
Sakura blinked, shocked at what had just come out of Tomoyos' mouth.  
"Um...W-what's wrong?"  
"SOME BITCH HUNG UP ON ME!"  
Sakura blinked again, still surprised.  
"May-maybe you should calm down?"  
"NO! I'M GONNA PHONE THAT BITCH AND ASK HER WHAT THE FUCK SHE THINKS SHE'S DOING!"  
Sakura felt scared and tried not to upset Tomoyo.  
"O-okay!"

Tomoyo ran back over to the phone, picked up the phone so fast she almost dropped it and stabbed the redial button with her finger.  
"IT'S RINGING!" She yelled viciously at Sakura.  
Sakura nodded, almost scared to death.  
"Hello?" Said Bakura on the other side of the phone.  
"YO, BITCH. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?!"  
Bakura was too shocked to speak for a moment.  
"Err..."  
"I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!"  
"Ah, right. I dialled the wrong number. Sorry, I was trying to call my father."  
"Oh, well! That's all fine and good then!"  
"Re-really?"  
"NO, BITCH! I'MMA HUNT YOU DOWN!"  
Tomoya slammed the phone down.

Bakura took the phone away from his ear and looked down at it in awe.  
"Wow...And I thought my fan-girls were aggressive..."

Tomoyo was breathing hard.  
"We...Are going to...Hunt down...him..."  
"'him'?"  
"THE BITCH WHO HUNG UP ON ME!"  
"O-o-o-oh. Right."  
Sakura was obeying Tomoyo as best she could to avoid risking Tomoyo turning on her.

"AND YA KNOW WHAT?!"  
"Wh-what, Tomoyo?"  
"I THINK MY MANS' BEEN CHEATING ON ME!"  
Ignoring the fact that that had nothing to do with the GODDAMN PHONE CALL, Sakura asked her,  
"You have a man?"  
"Yeah, your brother."  
"But I thought Yue was--"  
"It's a fanfic, okay? Shut the Hell up."  
"Um...Okay, but what does that have to do with--"  
"I WAS GETTING TO THAT!"  
Sakura began to cower again.  
"O-okay!"

"I bet, THAT BITCH, phoned me up just to rub it in my face that HE'S been sleeping with my man."  
"But...How do you know he's even gay?"  
"Why else would he phone me up?"  
"Maybe it's a wrong phone number?"  
"THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!"

Sakura was silent.  
"Yes, it's all falling into place...He's screwing my man and he phoned me up, then he acts all innocent." Tomoya spat on the ground. "IT SICKENS ME!"

"I am going to find out who he is, and get my fucking revenge."  
"U-uh huh!" Said Sakura cheerfully, but she really just wanted to get the Hell out of there.


	2. The End of Our Epic Tale

Within a few weeks time, Tomoyo had used the internet to get three things. Bakuras' phone number (Which she **really **didn't need anyway), his address, and directions to his address.  
"TONIGHT WE STRIKE!" She shreiked at Sakura as her printer finished printing out the directions.  
"U-uh huh." Said Sakura nervously.

* * *

That night, Tomoyo and Sakura got together at Sakuras' house and called a taxi. With a crowbar and a bucket of pink paint, Tomoyo leaped into the car first, clearly feeling severely pissed. Sakura nervously got into the car with her and pulled the door shut.  
"Where to?" The cabbie asked.  
Tomoyo thrust the piece of paper towards him.

She started breathing hard again. Sakura stared down at the crowbar and bucket of paint.  
"What's that for?" She asked.  
"Oooohhhh, you'll see." Said Tomoyo, and she laughed wickedly.  
Sakura looked at the window and tried to make herself comfortable for the rest of the ride.

* * *

The paint and crowbar barely weighing her down, Tomoyo shot up of the car and looked up at the house with her hands on her hips after she dropped her items.  
"YES! YES! YES, THIS IS THE HOUSE!"  
Tomoyo shreiked with laughter.  
Sakura, who had just finished paying the cabbie, came to stand behind her and looked up the the house as well.

"How would you know? You've never been here before..."  
"ONCE AGAIN, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Screamed Tomoyo, and she held the crowbar in a threatening way. Sakura whimpered.  
Tomoyo turned away from Sakura and checked to see if anyone was looking.  
"Sakura, hold this." She said quietly, and handed the bucket of paint to her.  
Sakura watched Tomoyo quietly. She ever so casually strolled up to the car, once again checked if anyone was watching, and then did something that surprised Sakura.

She swung the crowbar into the front windscreen, creating a loud shatter of glass.

"Tomoyo...!" Sakura yelled in surprise.  
"What was that?!" Yelled someone inside the house.

Tomoyo quickly ran over to Sakura, tore, yes, **tore** the bucket of paint out of her hands, and ran back over to the car.  
A beautiful albino man opened the front door and saw Tomoyo.  
"Who are you?!"  
"I'M THE ONE WHO YOU WERE FUCKING AROUND WITH ON THE PHONE!"  
Tomoyo opened the can of paint and splashed the whole bucket full into the car, basically ruining it entirely.  
Bakura was awestruck.  
"It. Was. A. Wrong. Phone. Number!!"  
"THEN HOW COME YOU'RE SCREWING MY MAN?!"  
"I'M MARRIED!"

Just then, a beautiful young woman with blonde hair came over to him, wiping her eyes.  
"What is it, honey?" She asked affectionately.  
Bakura smiled lovingly at her.  
"Nothing, Caitlyn. Just go back to sleep."  
She kissed him and then did as he told her to.

Tomoyo blinked. Fortunately enough, their taxi was still there because the driver thought it was an interesting scene, and, yeah - you guessed it - she grabbed Sakura, got in the car and told him to drive like Hell.


	3. Afterlogue

After all that, Tomoyo was sent to jail for what she had done to poor Bakuras' car. And she was right about her man cheating on her...WITH SAKURA! -Dun dun dun-.

Yes, Sakura is dating her brother.

And then Bakura and his wife had three beautiful children. Named Dohma, Arika and Sabin.

And the cabbie got rich because he won the lottery.

Then he lost it all by gambling.

Woo!

XP


End file.
